These are the twenty essential things, that a Mom should tell her Son, to groom him into a better human being:
- Play a sport : It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time and stay out of trouble. And maybe even throw or catch.
- You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don't take something away from her that you can't give back.
- Use careful aim when you pee : somebody's got to clean that up, you know.
- Save money when you're young, because you're going to need it someday.
- Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom. Now please go use them.
- Pray and be a spiritual leader.
- Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself.
- Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.
- Treat women kindly.
- Forever is a long time to live alone and it's even longer to live with somebody who hates your guts. Take pride in your appearance.
- Be strong and tender at the same time.
- A woman can do everything that you can do : This includes her having a successful career and you changing diapers at 3 A.M. Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.
- "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir" still go a long way.
- The reason that they're called "private parts" is because they're "private". Please do not scratch them in public.
- Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow.
- Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea.
- It is better to be kind than to be right.
- A sense of humor goes a long way in the healing process.
- Please choose your spouse wisely.
- Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you.